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Showing most liked content since 01/24/2018 in all areas

  1. 5 points
    My wife just called me. She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day, they are absolutely gorgeous." I said, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."
  2. 4 points
    Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
  3. 3 points
    I see gigaba has a degree in waste management. Could be helpful if SA hits junk status.
  4. 3 points
    An Australian teacher asks her students if they're Wallabies fans. Everyone raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher says, "Why aren't you a Wallabies fan?" "I am a Springbok fan". The teacher asks why? "Because my mom is a Springbok fan, and my dad is a Springbok fan, so I'm a Springbok fan too!" The teacher says "That is no reason. What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?" "Then I'd be a Wallabies fan!”
  5. 3 points
    Women are simple. Yes means yes & no means yes & no means no & no means maybe but maybe means yes & maybe means no. Easy.
  6. 3 points
    Be thankful you are not exposed to Tjoks en Tjops
  7. 3 points
    A number of years after marrying a young couple, the church minister ran into the man. He asked how he and his wife were doing. The guy said, “Well reverend, remember on our wedding day, you said that the two of us were now one”? The reverend confirmed that he remembered. “Well, we are now ten”, the guy said. “Goodness but you have done well. Eight kids?”, the reverend said. “No, we don’t have any kids. It’s just that my wife is the 1 and I am the 0”.
  8. 3 points
    i'm at the point of saying - get rid of the old toppies & start fresh with the youngsters for T20 & ODI's - it looks like there's talent, but they don't get a chance. To simply go on flogging the old dead horses like JP Dummy, AB de Billiers, Ambler, FAFA & co makes no sense to me............. World Cup next year............ surely now's the time to "kick out the jams brothers & sisters"
  9. 3 points
    LOL In fact because you are coloured we had to make extra sure you were extra kak before we could fire you.
  10. 3 points
    Allistair Coetzee: You are firing me because I am coloured! Jurie Roux: No, we hired you because you were coloured, we are firing you because you are kak!
  11. 2 points
    Kinders se vraestel antwoorde .......... dis nou lekker Afrikaans !! *Salomo het driehonderd vroue en nog sewehonderd bye-vye gehad. Nie almal van hulle het gesteek nie, maar hy was gelukkig baie slim en het 'n plan uitgewerk. * Nog 'n belangrike uitvindsel was die bloedsomloop. Dit het verhoed dat jou bloed stilstaan, wat stilstuipe veroorsaak. * Peter Stuyfgestaan is 'n geskiedkundige figuur, want hy het sigarette uitgevind en begin rook. Hy het so baie gerook dat die niekoetien-kolle in sy onderbroek duidelik sigbaar was. * Egipteland was bewoon deur mummies en hulle het almal op hulle hero-gleuwe geskryf en vir hulle pappies gewys. Hulle het in die Sarah-woestyn gewoon en het waterbeurte gehad van die min reën. Die klimaat was só erg dat al die inwoners op ander plekke gebly het, en net naweke huistoe gekom het om sandkastele te bou. Die boesmans het in hulle tuine gewerk. * Moses het die Hebreeuse slawe na die Rooi See gelei waar hulle ongesuurde brode gebak het, dit is brood wat sonder enige bestanddele gemaak is en baie soet is van te min suurdeeg. Moses het die berg Sianied uitgeklim om die tien gebooie te kry. * Die Egiptenare was 'n hoogs gekulde volk en sonder hulle sou ons nie 'n geskiedenis gehad het nie. Hulle het omtrent al die kafees in Egipte gehad. My ma sê hulle het baie mites gehad wat seker in die kombuis gewerk het. · Demokrates was 'n beroemde Griekse wysheid wat rondgeloop en mense raad gegee het. Hy is dood omdat hy verskriklik oordosis of so iets. Ná sy dood het sy loopbaan dramaties agteruitgegaan. * IN die ou Olimpiese Spele het die Grieke kaal paal gespring, zol geswaai, en disnis gegooi. Hulle was ook lief vir budgie-jump, omdat daar niks anders was om te jump nie. * Johanna van Arkel het van 'n stapel brandwonde gesterf. Hulle het haar met 'n blaasbalk aan die brand gepomp, tot haar hare afrou geraak het van skrik. * Koningin Elizabeth was die "Maagdekoningin". As 'n koningin was sy 'n sukses, maar nie as 'n maagd nie. Sy het haar volk se probleme aangetrek en was altyd mooi geklee. * Dit was n tydperk van groot uitvindsels en ontdekkings. Gutenberg het die wynpers uitgevind. Hy het die slaweklokke gelui deur dit in die wynpers vas te draai dat die wyn spat. * Die grootste skrywer van die Renaissance was William Shakespeare. Hy is in die jaar 1564 gebore en die geskiedkundige mense dink dit was op sy verjaardag. Hy het nooit geld gemaak nie, en is net beroemd oor die toneelstukke wat hy geskryf het. Hy het tragedies, komedies en historektomieë geskryf. Romeo and Juliet is een voorbeeld. * Abraham Lincoln het Amerika se grootste presedent geword. Lincoln se ma is dood toe sy nog 'n maagd was en hy is gebore in 'n houthut wat hy met sy eie hande gebou het in die franse evolusie. * Johann Babbelastiaan Bach het baie komposisies geken en het so ook baie kinders gehad. Hy is dood sedert 1750 tot vandag toe. Bach was die beroemdste komponis in die wêreld, amper soos Händel. Händel was half-Duits, half-Italiaans en half-Engels wat Hollangs gepraat het. * Beethoven het musiek geskryf al was hy doof. Hy was só doof dat hy harde musiek geskryf het. Hy het ver in die woude gaan loop selfs al het almal na hom geroep. Beethoven het in 1827 opgehou bestaan en dis hoekom hy later dood is. Hy het rooi hare by geboorte gehad toe noem sy ma hom Beethoven. Sy hare het egter na sy eerste bad heelwat verander. * Die negentiende eeu was 'n tyd van baie uitvindsels. Mense het opgehou om met die hand te reproduseer en met toestelle begin reproduseer. * Die uitvinding van die stoomboot het 'n netwerk van riviere laat ontstaan, waarna die mense gevlug het as die water te warm raak van die stoom wat afgeblaas word. * Die Toekoek is 'n voël wat nie haar eie eiers kan lê nie. * Parallelle lyne ontmoet mekaar nooit nie, tensy jy een of altwee van hulle buig. * 'n Sirkel is 'n lyn wat sy ander end ontmoet sonder om te end. Daarom is dit moeilik om sy end te kry, voordat jy dronk word. * Die maan is 'n planeet net soos die aarde. Daar bly net een man wat baie gelukkig is. Een keer 'n jaar raak sy koeie mal en spring oor die maan. * Vegatiewe voortplanting is 'n proses waarin een individu per ongeluk 'n ander individu vervaardig waarop net die ouma trots is.
  12. 2 points
    We have pretty strict smoking rules here but I couldn't believe the rules in Manila when I was there in November. You essentially get fined if you smoke in public area including in parks and footpaths. I am not sure if the rule applies outside Manila but with the exception of Singapore you can essentially smoke wherever you like in the rest of south east Asia including in bars and restaurants which has been long banned here.
  13. 2 points
    and smoke........travel is actually slightly better these days. We're all regarded as "the rich" & they're going to do their best to make us like everyone else - dirt poor! Hope I die before I get old...............
  14. 2 points
    True, they fucked up a few players already in the process of changing a player' natural position to one that some fool thinks will be better.. Those two positions are as different as a scrummy and a flyhalf. Different skill set and technique needed. Think Frans Steyn, Hougaard, Serfontein etc.
  15. 2 points
    Is there real talent being kept out by the like of AB, Amla and Faf? Duminy and Miller are journeymen types who are very inconsistent and who wouldn't be missed but I am not sure about the other three. The old saying about being old enough if good enough works both ways
  16. 2 points
  17. 2 points
    Lions have still got it. Well done.
  18. 2 points
    Thank God we don't have Zandberg Jansen any more.
  19. 2 points
    You say that like it's a bad thing? https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bd/Jack_Herer_-_The_Emperor_Wears_No_Clothes.pdf
  20. 2 points
    He has only one wife. That's a start.
  21. 2 points
    I see what you're trying to do.
  22. 2 points
  23. 2 points
    I got a snotty text off my wife today. 'You can do the tea tonight, you lazy cunt. I've been at work all day. I want something foreign.' Fuck her, Ethiopian it is then.
  24. 2 points
    Worst is that my coffe now has a name change..
  25. 2 points
    The fuckwit is finally gone.
  26. 2 points
  27. 2 points
    Except for last night
  28. 2 points
    Probably because God's Gift to cricket was back in the team.
  29. 2 points
  30. 2 points
    No restrictions but a request to go easy. https://www.ekurhuleni.gov.za/yourservices/news/press-releases/metro-encourages-water-conservation-amid-lifting-of-restrictions
  31. 2 points
    It's beginning to stink. Centurion has never turned in its existence, and now they get a test and 2 ODI's
  32. 2 points
    Relax! Here cometh the saviour of SA Rugby........one Rastus Erasmus bullshitter par excellance
  33. 2 points
  34. 2 points
  35. 2 points
    Good riddance. Kyk noord en fok voord. Don't stop till you hit the Mediterranean sea.
  36. 2 points
    He's just had a 6 year break
  37. 2 points
  38. 2 points
    Fuck, if he had been sacked last year we would be number one.
  39. 2 points
    You cannot make this shit up, but the Boks have already climbed the World rankings from 6th to 5th since Rassie took over...
  40. 2 points
  41. 2 points
    So they are effectively buying Bitcoin on margin. Reminds me of October 29 1929
  42. 2 points
    What a difference a cool head, experience, BMT and an accurate boot makes. Johnny Sexton shows exactly what the expression “snatching victory from the jaws of defeat” looks like in real life.
  43. 2 points
    A 70 year old man asks his wife, "Do you feel sad when you see me running after young girls?" Wife replied, "No, not at all. Even dogs chase cars they can't drive."
  44. 2 points
    Take away the talk function and we have a perfect invention.
  45. 2 points
    I do not think the measure of a civilization is how tall its buildings of concrete are, But rather how well its people have learned to relate to their environment and fellow man. Sun Bear of the Chippewa Tribe
  46. 2 points
    In a nutshell, its everyone's fault except him.......oh and the race card is prominent.
  47. 2 points
    I can't remember when it took 5 days to watch a 5 day test. You just ca't plan your week/weekend anymore.
  48. 2 points
    Stupid Bulls. They should have played themselves, thereby guaranteeing at least one win.
  49. 2 points
    Actually I might laugh, remembering how India have screwed us around for years.
  50. 2 points
    If we prepare green tops for the Aussies, their quickies will have our batters for breakfast.
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