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The Don

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The Don last won the day on February 13

The Don had the most liked content!

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About The Don

  • Rank
    Leave the birds, bees, bats, butterflys and beetles alone.
  • Birthday 12/10/1956

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Winston Park

Recent Profile Visitors

4,666 profile views
  1. FUNNIES

    Women are simple. Yes means yes & no means yes & no means no & no means maybe but maybe means yes & maybe means no. Easy.
  2. Mooi Musiek.

    Hmmmmm, YES.
  3. FUNNIES

    An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily. 'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother through?' The girl, crying, replied, Dad... I became a prostitute.' 'Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.' 'OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a 5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.' 'What was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad. Girl, crying again, 'A prostitute, Daddy!.' 'Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug !!
  4. FUNNIES

    Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
  5. FUNNIES

    A 70 year old man asks his wife, "Do you feel sad when you see me running after young girls?" Wife replied, "No, not at all. Even dogs chase cars they can't drive."
  6. Good Friday

    As the old saying goes - "good riddance to bad rubbish".
  7. FUNNIES

  8. Mooi Musiek.

    For me it doesn't get better than this ................
  9. SA Incoming Tours 2018

    Yes. And knowing that they aren't "chasing" anything, hopefully they will think that way.
  10. SA Incoming Tours 2018

    Pure defensive batting required for now. Just wait for the "poor" deliveries. There isn't time pressure at the moment.
  11. FUNNIES

    Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
  12. Mooi Musiek.

    Snap.
  13. SA Incoming Tours 2018

    A prediction. Game over before half time of second session.
  14. FUNNIES

    A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa". Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500". This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5 bill, and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer "your turn". She asks "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his smartphone, connects to the inflight wi-fi and searches Google, Wikipedia and Orsm... no answer. Frustrated, he sends emails his friends and co-workers, tweets and posts it on Facebook to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks "Well... what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
  15. FUNNIES

    80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention. The leader says "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the worldwide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance". So he asks "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says "Ninety?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened. The blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!" The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says "Okay! Okay! Just one more chance - what's 2 plus 2?" The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says "FOUR!?" Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
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