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vlagman    914

nein-smiley-emoticon.gif  For some experienced guys a slight turn is as good as a straight..

 

And for some inexperienced guys a straight is as good as a slight turn. That is probably why he has one more turn than what there officially are. :36_11_6:

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vlagman    914

I just watched it. LOL. Did it by some margin IIRC. Something like 7/10s. Not 100% but I think that is correct. If I'm not mistaken he did it in 1:42.2. Lewis' time was 1:42.9. Webber was just over 1:43 and then there was some other guy. Whatsisname again?

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vlagman    914

Daniel Ricciardo Top Gear: Australian F1 ace smashes lap record in challenge.

 

Here’s the new F1 driver leaderboard:
1. Daniel Riciardo, 1m42.2s
2. Lewis Hamilton, 1m42.9s
3. Mark Webber, 1m43.1s
4. Sebastian Vettel, 1m44.0s
5. Rubens Barrichello, 1m44.3s
6. The Stig (white), 1m44.4s
7. Nigel Mansell, 1m44.6s
8. Lewis Hamilton (damp, oily), 1m44.7s
9. Jenson Button (HOT), 1m44.7s
10. The Stig (black), 1m46.0s
11. Kimi Raikkonen (very wet), 1m46.1s
12. Damon Hill, 1m46.3s
13. Mark Webber (very wet), 1m47.1s

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vlagman    914

Oh and one more thing. Just after they showed the lap, Hammond mentioned that he actually put in three laps of exactly 1:42.2s. So, it was not a flook lap either. The drivers normally have a number of laps and then the fastest one is recorded.

Edited by vlagman

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Guest Viva Alonso   
Guest Viva Alonso

So its been confirmed!!!

 

Ricciardo is faster than Lewis who is faster than Wenner who is faster than Vettel!  :36_11_6:

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Hawk_Eye    1,357

March 2015 

COCT announces deal with Bernie to host 2016 GP. 

Outraged Bunny Huggers decry the DA led City of Cape Town as having flaunted the terms of NEMA as the route passes within 500m of the Ocean and it must have a full EIA peformed on the proposed route. 

The event is postponed to 2017 as hundreds of experts , who heard the story at a tea party in Constantia come forward to explain why an F1 event will cause the disturbance of hundreds of gay whales who traditionally congregate just off the seapoint pool in the summer months. 

They are finally mollified when it is explained to them that a modern F1 car is quieter than a bergie that's just passed out after consuming a 5 liter papsak , that a modern F1 motor works 'just like a Prius' and that Sperm Whales are not actually gay. amid cries of "oh cute!!!" the ROD is granted. 


15 March 2016 

As the bunny hugger association proudly proclaims victory in their fight for equal rights for gay whales, Work commences on upgrading the roads along the new route and the pit complex 

16 March 2016 

Work ceases as access to the city is blocked for a bicycle race. 

3 April 2016 

Work commences again , but is shortlived as Jacob Zuma arrives in Parliament and has the city closed off as a security measure. News of this only arrives 3 days later as cell phone signals are jammed across the city. When asked for comment Zuma said "he he he he" and pushed his glasses up with his middle finger. 

10th April. 

As the diggers commence work once more, the South Easter comes up, 2 TLBs are blown over. the newspapers tout it as the biggest storm ever (again, but not as big as next week's one), Cape Town residents speak of a refreshing breeze. Bernie sends out re-assuring messages that people shouldn't worry, the track will be ready on time and a light breeze won't affect a formula one car. 

some points in the year: 

25 disgruntled ANC protestors fling poo at the work crews, saying that despite the employment of 100 000 people the F1 race is a DA conspiracy aimed at keeping people poor and the money could have been much better spent on upgrading the WC opposition official residences. 

Work ceases 15 more times due to cycle races, road closures for movies, parliament events, a couple of marathons and a carnival, not many of which the residents of Cape Town really like, and which just snarls up traffic even more. 

The Cape Minstrels realise that no one has consulted them and demand that they do a lap of honour before the race and be paid R25 000 000 to organise it, even if they do only do it 6 days late. 

Owing to the fact that no one in Cape Town works on a Friday, it is noted that work is behind schedule. When approached for comment one Cape Town construction worker said "Ja Bru, but check the mountain". Another one shouted "djou Ma se..... " 

tour guide operators insist on passing a new law that means all the drivers have to employ a qualified guide to follow around the track, because "South African conditions are difficult you know" . A new training association springs up out of nowhere and demands that all drivers must be trained before going onto the circuit! 

Race is postponed to 2018. 

Finally, the track is ready, and traffic no longer moves at all in Cape Town. 

A small scuffle breaks out on the Friday before as South African workers arrive in a blue light convoy and start digging a hole in the paddock. After a day of accusations of racism and it being apartheids fault, it emerges that they thought the Red Bull motorhome was Zuma's new Cape Town residence and they were installing the fire pool. Work is cancelled, the hole is filled in at the bargain price of R30 000 000. 

day 1 - Monday. the ANC buys up all the Kentucky in the city to entice supporters to the track, where they blockade and protest. When asked what they were protesting against, one protestor said "we don't know , but it's pretty **poo** that we only got a streetwise one, they told us we'd get a rounder too!!! and look at the quality of this Tee shirt. pathetic.... " 

day 2 - Tuesday. Eddie Jordan is rushed to hospital. Unconfirmed reports state that he was ogling a shapely mini skirt clad bottom outside his hotel, when the owner of said bottom turned around, and with a toothless smile asked him 'wil djy n***?' 

when approached for comment, a local male prostitute confirmed he had spoken to Eddie, and said that once Eddie had experienced a passion gap, he'd never want anything else. 

Eddie is still unable to speak, and F1 fans around the world are rejoicing. 

day 3 Wednesday - the Cars arrive in Cape Town amidst much excitement from Cape Town residents. "BRU!!! look at the size of that surfboard on the front!!!" said one, but it seems that the race will have to be postponed, as the Zille thought police have impounded the cars. A spokesman for the COCT Traffic department said "Listen here China. those cars springs were collapsed, they had blerry wide mags on and that wing is definitely not standard, we are still looking for a regulation banning those, but don't worry, we'll find it" 

day 4 - the cars are released just in time for 1st practice. As they queue at the red light, waiting for the track to open 14 cyclists pass the cars on the left and go onto the track , straight through the red light. the session is postoned, and the safety car heads off to pull over the cyclists, now cycling 4 abreast. When world famous driver Bernd Maylander hooted at them they give him the finger and rode off over the kerbs. when asked about the issue later Bernd said "Don't worry Cape Town, I live in France, this is normal cyclist behaviour, it's not just you guys that have to put up with it!!!" 

the president of the Pedal Power association later commented, 'bloody cars, shouldn't be on the road, and anyway, it's totally okay for cyclists to skip red lights. dumbass motorists.' He also commented that the F1 drivers are totally at risk , and should dump their stupid hi-tech crumple zones and carbon fibre helmets for lycra and a silly looking polystyrene hat, along with chocolate fireproof underwear, "because that kind of stuff makes you more invincible than ironman" The interview was then cut short as he had to go and have his legs waxed. 

day 5 - practice and qualifying. Once more the Cape Town GP seems in danger of being cancelled as all of the cars have had their taillights stolen to be used as Tik pipes. FIA regulation 24123235315 (b) states that no car may enter the track without a working taillight. 

luckily, a local car tuning shop was able to supply a heap of cheap chinese LEDs. despite the fact that they are blue, illegal, only work intermittently and make the cars look silly, Bernie overrides the rules citing TV coverage and money. 


day 6 - the race. 

The cars perfrom the installation lap and assemble on the grid. 

Light one goes on , light two... light 3.... and they are OFF!!! wait!!! what's happening? some cars start , some don't and there are 3 crashes. 

"loadshedding now" appears across the screens of the worldwide audience. 

a spokesman for Eskom releases a statment saying "Eish. Medupi will be on line very soon, we are only 14 years behind, we are very sorry for the inconvenience. anyway, it's a legacy of apartheid" 

when faced with the prospect of 2 hours of David Coulthard talking about his career and the one race where he was only lapped 3 times. Bernie Ecclestone offers a R100 000 to anyone with a generator to step forward. 

An enterprising previously advantaged South African comes running up with a cheap Chinese generator , but is stopped in his tracks by a govt. official, stating that he can't conclude the transaction because he doesn't have a BBEEE accreditation. 

no BBEEE accredited persons have a genrator to hand though, so a deal is done to give the previously advantaged person R15 000 of the deal, and a surcharge of R1 000 000 is added to Bernie's Bill to facitiate the deal. plus VAT. 

the lights are plugged in and the race is re-started 

As they head into the First corner, there is a 'pelaton' of cyclists on the road with a Vito behind it doing 30km/h 

Vettel passes just before the yellow flag is put out, giving him an advantage at the first pit stop, as the rest of the field is forced to sit behind the Vito until the safety car catches up. 

Once the Safety car catches up, even Bernd is unable to pass the cyclists as they wander all over the road and actively prevent anyone at all from passing. 

Meantime, Vettel is 2 laps ahead and has a new set of tyres (as usual) but the incident is being investigated. 

Race control says pedal power have objected as Vettel passed the cyclists within 1.5m, and must be penalised and thrown in jail forever. 

Ferrari officials are at the marshalls office waving the Western Cape by law that states the distance is actually 1m, and anyway, how the hell are you supposed to measure it? 

Pedal Power retort that Vettel is a motorist and thus guilty. 

meanwhile, on the track, the lights into the pits are red, so the cyclists go straight through them out of habit and are herded out of the pits, and the race restarts. 

At this point the ANC opposition in the Western Cape invade the track and demand that the grid be proportionally representative, and that the white drivers should go home. Bernie runs out waving a picture of Lewis Hamilton saying "look we have a black driver!!!!" Marius Fransman looks at Bernie and says "Bru. Hami is not black. he's coloured. he doesn't count" 


the race is red flagged as the Cape Minstrels also invade the track yelling that they were previously disadvataged too and anyway, 'tjek it out Laany, we can close the roads better than djou blerry cyclists anyday' 

the race is adandoned. Red Bull win anyway.... 


Cape Town F1 2019 - costs have escalted from the original US$50 000 000 to nearly US$ 150 000 000. 

A govt. spokesman cites unforeseen costs. 

Bernie says "screw this, even I can't sort this lot out" 

Race is cancelled. 

Govt. spokesman says it's Jan van Riebeeck's fault.

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